Prelim. Recap: Dream Ends with a Whimper

Like a dream from Inception, but without the good looks of Leonardo Di Caprio, the best bounceback season in AFL/VFL history came crushing down under the weight of reality.

Geelong dominated from the start. They were too experienced, too strong and too healthy. I'm not disappointed by the result or effort so much as the performance. We were down from the first bounce. Our remarkeable press all but disappeared for all but 10-15 minutes in the second term. Perhaps it was the result of a long and hard season on young bodies. Maybe it was that key players were nursing knocks and strains. Whatever the reason, it was probably the weakest showing of the season. We needed our best to just have a chance; we weren't even close.

I thought Waters was very good. He turned the ball over a bit (like everyone else) but he's such a force down back. I also thought Gaff was decent. Kerr showed some class at times, whilst Shuey was okay. Naitanui had a solid outing whereas Cox seemed like a man out of form and lacking fitness. Lecras didn't seem completely fit either.

On an ancillary issue, the umpiring was awful. I don't blame it for the loss at all, but the umps were very inconsistent.

I don't really have anything else to write. It was a terrific season. Our results and performances greatly exceeded my expectations. It's just a shame it all ended so dismally. But the future is bright.

I'll probably write a post or two about the season; highs and lows, best players and improvements we need to make. It does seem like a taxing prospect though, so it might take a while.

Thanks for reading.

Preliminary Final Preview: Cats v Eagles

I'm having a difficult time comprehending that we are actually in the preliminary final. The final four. I thought this would be another year of digression. Yet, we have flown from the ashes of embarrassment and into the MCG in late September, a place reserved for football's elite.

The Eagles have, quite surprisingly, managed to maintain the same line-up that edged the Blues last week. The only negative from that news is that Rosa isn't playing. Not that I rate him highly, but Masten's performance on Saturday night suggested his good form has come to screeching halt. Yes, the Masten we all love to hate has returned. But perhaps the Prelim will help him focus his energy on doing the basics right. If he can't do that then perhaps it should be the last time he plays with an eagle on his guernsey. Perhaps I'm harsh, but his development has been seriously lacking.

Geelong have made one change as Corey replaces Menzel. That knee injury could be quite the blow to the Cats. Menzel is a highly impressive youngster, whereas Corey seems to be fading as his old legs begin to crumble underneath his aged torso, antiquated neck and prehistoric cranium.

We beat the Cats earlier in the season at Subi by a small margin after leading big at the half. I don't think that's of much significance to this matchup. It's a final, at the MCG and Geelong is off a bye. Not that I'm certain the bye means much. If they crush us, sure I'll blame the bye. Also, I'm sure if we beat them some portions of the football world will point to the bye as hurting the momentum of the Cats. From a practical standpoint they will be fresh and we will be bruised and beaten. But it's the prelim, and if a trip to the Grand Final can't make you forget about the fact that when you walk it feels like someone is stabbing you in the back...well actually that's probably normal. The point is: leave it all on the field.

Do I think we can win this? Yes we can. I don't expect us to win, but expectations are influenced by annoying things such as logic. Logic said the Eagles would finish in the bottom 4 this season. Logic said we would get thrashed by Collingwood in the Qualifying final.  So screw you logic, you aint the boss of me.

Perhaps their age will show against an energetic, young and bold Eagles team. Ottens is decent, but we have the best ruck pairing in the comp. Yes, their backline looks impressive, but Scarlett, Wojcinski and to a lesser extent Hunt can have accountability issues. Moreover, I hate Scarlett; the weird haired jerk-face. But it's their forward line which is most vulnerable. The J-Pod and girly-face, small shorts Hawkins don't frighten me at all. Especially given the form of our solid and experienced backline.

So matchup wise it's very achievable. If we play to our ability anything is possible. Plus, we have never lost to Geelong in a finals game...which is totally irrelevant.

Still, biggest game since the 06 grandfinal.

Let's Eagle Rock the G!!!

Worsfold Speaks; Schofield's GF had Orc hair

To the important part first.
...
Will Schofield and his GF gave a small interview to Eagle Vision in which Schofield was 'tested' on his knowledge about his girlfriend. Now, normally such a thing wouldn't interest me...and for the large part this didn't. But, besides Will's appalling efforts, he did mention that when he met her she had "orc hair". It was bloody hilarious, flawlessly delivered by the soon to be single Schofield.

Now on to more pressing issues.  The coach gave his weekly presser today and...well I managed to watch half of it before getting bored. I mean the quality of the questions and Woosha's mono-syllabic responses were damnright soporific. However, I did manage to glean that, according to Worsfold, every player under an injury cloud should play. Apparently E-Mac's moon boot isn't a big problem, JJK's eye is fine and Lecras is moving like he's never moved before. Oh and Rosa is tracking very well. Which, I predict, means all will miss.

One of the questions was extremely lame. One "reporter' asked whether the Eagles will have to adjust to Geelong's game style as compared to Collingwood. Wow, who pays those clowns?

If I had press accreditation I would ask proper questions.... like "how do you respond to claims that Will Schofield's girlfriend has orc hair"?

Glass, Cox Rightfully Return to All-Australian Team

I briefly considered whether I should place Cox before Glass in the title, but sexual innuendo always trumps alphabetical considerations.  

Regardless, these two players are true greats of their positions. Not only for the club, but in the history of the competition. I don't think there can be much argument that Cox was the pioneer for the modern ruckman; mobile, good skills, strong mark and stamina. Oh and obviously he's a great tap ruckman. He has had a superb season, though he's looked rather tired at times, and it's great to see him recognised as the best in the game.

I'm perhaps even more pleased to see Mr Glass gain proper appreciation from those blind men of the east. 

But unlike the man that Samuel L Jackson portrayed in Unbreakable, Darren Glass SPOILER ALERT isn't fragile nor a terrorist. Although I guess the second factor wouldn't be such a bad thing for a fullback. 

Anyway, I love Glass. He's amazingly consistent, a strong leader and great in contests. He's also great at wrapping his arm around the back of a player and not being penalised (wink to Carlton fans). 
Interestingly, when he first played for us I thought he wasn't long for the AFL world. I thought he was a little crabby, slow and weak. But I was wrong. He was by far the best fullback this season. Well done Glassy.

I was kind of hoping Kennedy would be selected, but you can't expect too much from the fools. Wow, I just noticed that Ben Reid made the team and Milne...


B: Matthew Scarlett (Geelong), Darren Glass (West Coast), Corey Enright (Geelong)
HB: Robert Murphy (Western Bulldogs), Ben Reid (Collingwood), Leon Davis (Collingwood)
C: Dale Thomas (Collingwood), Sam Mitchell (Hawthorn), Scott Pendlebury (Collingwood)
HF: Marc Murphy (Carlton), Travis Cloke (Collingwood), Dane Swan (Collingwood)
F: Stephen Milne (St Kilda), Lance Franklin (Hawthorn), Adam Goodes (Sydney Swans)
Ruck: Dean Cox (West Coast), Chris Judd (vc) (Carlton), Gary Ablett (c) (Gold Coast)
I/C: Matthew Boyd (Western Bulldogs), Nick Dal Santo (St Kilda), James Kelly (Geelong), Drew Petrie (North Melbourne) 

Semi Final Recap: Eagles Win!!!

What an amazing game.

Early on we looked like a team on the backfoot. We couldn't win the ball, when we did we were static and we gave the Blues a 4 goal start. At about the ten minute mark of the first I honestly thought it was over. It was probably just my misanthropic side affecting my outlook, but we were in real trouble.

I really thought Kennedy would be subbed off. To be honest, he probably should have been ruled out. From a fan's perspective I was glad he returned, but it looked like he suffered a concussion. But I'm only as much a doctor as 'Dr Dreamteam' is...which is to say not at all.

Then we seemed to settle down and we responded like good teams do. Throughout this season we have shown real maturity when we've been under pressure. We kicked 8 goals in a row in the second to grab the ascendency. And we never gave up the lead (just).

Kerr was superb in the second. He ended the game with 27 disposals, but it was his clearance work which put us back into the game.

In the second half we were the better team but couldn't put it on the scoreboard. Thankfully though we did enough. The siren was a huge relief.

In terms of individuals, Kerr and Cox were the fulcrum of a very solid outing. JJK's 3.3 were pivotal. Scott Selwood restricted the Juddas again. Our backline was fairly good, though they were challenged by the speedy Garlett and Betts at times.

Overall, a thrilling win. We could've been blown out early, but we weren't. We earnt the home final during the season and that, I think, was the difference in this game. Congrats to the players and coaching staff. To the vanquished I have no kind words. Suckers.

So onto the Cats, those smarmy bastards. We seem to have injury concerns abound. E-Mac sore foot, Lecca- knee and ankle, JJK- facial area. But it's the prelim, so I'm guessing they all play. It's a difficult task, but this team, at their best, can beat anyone.

Bring it on.

Semi-Final Preview: Eagles v Blues

I really hope this isn't the last game of the year. It would be distasteful in a few ways. Firstly, to have such a great season and not a win a final is a flat feeling. Secondly, because we felt that feeling back in 07. And finally, Judd. Enough said.

Preparing his ears for the long flight using 'dumbo' power, Brett Ratten has said all the pressure is on us. This coming from the guy that would've been sacked had his team lost last week...Anyway, I don't think that's true. Carlton have been there, done that. Well, mainly 'lost that' over the past couple of seasons. But it's a huge game for both sides. If we lose, it will be disappointing. But upon reflection (in 3 months time after the tears have ceased) we will view the season with great pride and optimism.

In team news Kerr is in and Cox...is still in. For now. Gibbs is out for the Death Eaters and Kreuzer's numb nut foot means he doesn't travel. If Cox and Kerr play it will be a massive bonus for us. With Kreuzer out we should dominate the ruck. Also, Kerr gives us that experience and polish that we seemed to lack a little last week.

We killed them earlier in the year which was very significant for one reason. If we had lost we would've exchanged positions with these bastards. That means this game would have been in Melbourne. That win felt great at the time and even better now.

But I don't think it means much in terms of any psychological edge. They have a very solid team. Their midfield, led by the Dark Lord himself, is superb. We actually did keep Juddas fairly quiet when we met, but one of his horcruxes was just destroyed he was battling a cold. Still, the Selwood's should annoy the hell out of him at least. I'm sure by the end of the night he would've attempted his eye gouge/sleeper hold move. That annoying crazy-eyed ginger freak will play this time. I don't like him, he's rabid and fairly overrated. Yet, like a wild animal he can be dangerous if you don't tranq. him.

Yet, outside of their dynamic midfield, I'm not that worried. Their backline is not strong at all. Our forward line should be looking to bounce back from last week's disappointing outing. Yarran's a decent player, but he has accountability issues. The rest are a hodge-podge of injury-prone scarecrows and uninspiring mature rookies. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but our forward line should do the job on them again.

Their forward line is also less than impressive. Sure Setanta's good at kicking guys in the bollocks, but that's mainly his teammates. He's erratic at best. Betts and Gartlett are dangerous but with Waters, Butler and Schofield we should be able to handle them.

Despite all these positives for us I'm still concerned. I have a bad feeling about this game. Mainly because I don't think I could bare to see the Juddas knock us out at our home ground (stupid name and all).

But we shouldn't let that happen. We have a far more even side. If Cox plays, I will be very confident of the Eagles reaching a prelim. If he doesn't, then it may be a nervous night.

Come one EAGLES!!!

Qualifying Final Recap: Eagles Show Great Spirit in Close Loss

I'm proud but disappointed. Proud because we pushed the best team in the comp until the final siren. Disappointed as we could have won. We had some bad luck and some subpar performances...and yet we were right there.

I'll start with the positives. Our backline was superb. Glass and E-Mac totally shutdown Cloke and Dawes who only had a goal each. I've criticised MacKenzie alot, but defensively he has been excellent this season. He's a strong mark and great in contests. I still have doubts over his disposal efficiency, though he seems to be less awful than he was. Glass is a champion, the best fullback in the comp. His dominance was no surprise.
Butler and Waters were also solid.

I thought Naitanui showed great persistence and real spirit. He had 31 hitouts, 15 possessions and 8 clearances. The commentators mentioned that Jolly worked into the game, but honestly it was only Cox's injury which changed things.

Priddis, Masten and Gaff were good contributors in the midfield and Lynch was strong up forward with 3 goals.

On the negative side, Cox's injury is massive. Back or ankle or both it didn't look good. Glass and JJK also obtained minor knocks. Needless to say without Cox, especially if against Essendon, the task will be extremely difficult. Though I'm heartened by Naitanui's performance today.

I don't want to criticise Shuey too much. Yes, he was overwhelmed by the occasion. I thought the commentators were a bit cruel in their focus on him. I only wish Kerr could've played. There would've been less pressure on him.

The forward line but was completely beaten. The Pies backline overpowered us in marking contests and killed us at ground level.

But overall, I was very impressed by our fight and determination. Halfway through the third we were down by around 5 goals. I honestly thought we would go down by 10. But our players persevered and fought til the death.

Worsfold was just interviewed by Channel 10 and he said although he was proud it was clear that our midfield doesn't have the polish or experience of Collingwood. Prior to today Collingwood had 250 finals games compared to our players' 90 appearances.

After today's performance I'm really hopeful of what this team can achieve in the long term.

Bring on next week.

Qualifying Final Preview: Pies v Eagles

Well, when I started this blog I didn't anticipate needing to post anything past August. I thought we would be horrible again and challenge for the spoon. But instead we are challenging for a more erstwhile kitchen-related instrument: a cup. The Premiership Cup to be exact.

I'm not going to lie and write that I think we will win it. Is it possible? Yes. We secured the double chance and we have played consistent high-pressure football throughout the season. Yet if I look at the 3 teams above us, I think there is quite a gap. We beat Geelong and pushed Hawthorn but they are more seasoned performers. They would be hard to beat in the East, in the heat of the finals.

However our focus here is the top dog. They scare me. This game scares me. I can't see a good result for us in this one. By good result I include a loss by up to 5 or 6 goals.They are simply better. Their players are better. They have finals experience. They killed us earlier in the year. Their gameplan is so good we stole it.

Now, they are missing Thomas and have some other issues, but they're still a formidable opponent.
I remember one of the major problems when we played them earlier was our immobile forward line. We had our fair share of inside 50s, but every time the ball hit the deck it popped out of forward half quicker than Swan could get another tattoo. It's not surprising though. We really need a bona fide rover in the offseason.

Still, in positive news both Kerr and Schofield return. Kerr is critical. He takes the pressure of the younger mids as well as providing finals experience. McG and Smith (string of the ham) are out.

If we are to pull off the nigh impossible we need huge performances from key players. Firstly, Cox and Naitanui BOTH need to dominate. Preferably with Naitanui also being a potent force up forward. We need our midfield to have their best game of the season. I know Shuey and Kerr will deliver. But I really think Masten could be an X factor. He was BOG against Brisbane and very good against Adelaide. If he is finally 'in form' he chose a hell of a time to hit it. Perhaps most importantly though, our forwards must have strong hands and take their opportunities. We can't waste chances or it will be a long and painful afternoon.

Despite my pessimism, apprehension and fear I'm quite looking forward to this one. I remember our 2 previous finals games in 2007. Both left me feeling ill. If after this one I'm only feeling queasy, it will be a good result.

Round 24: Eagles Humiliate Crows; Set Sights on More Potent Birds

I don't intend to write much about the Crows match. In fact I didn't plan on writing anything before a sense of obligation grasped my talons and directed me towards blogspot.

It was a good win. A huge win is always nice but I don't think it means anything. The Crows are abysmal; a  horrendously poor football team. A 95 point win over them is the equivalent of beating a Dockers supporter at a game of chess. Yes, it feels good, but in the end it's just the strong wailing on the weak. It's a temporary happiness soon displaced by the fearsome reality which is the future.

The future against Team McGuire. Team McGuire; those stripey, mangy, mouth breathing, homebody, zombie feces! In all honesty though, they are pretty evil. From McGuire's greasy hair and his magazine rolling ways, to Mick's struggle to speak English, Didak's struggle to not be involved in Saturday night specials,  Shaw's moronism and Maxwell's gimpy gloved hand, to Thomas's nickname and Cloke's thuggish face...etc.
All of that aside, they are a pretty formidable side. But I'll blog about that later this week.

But I've ran out of insults so I must fly.

Round 24 Preview: Eagles vs Injuries...FC

Yes, we are playing against an actual team on Saturday. The result, however, has absolutely no meaning. Sure, momentum is blah blah blah...Ask Hawthorn how much they care about momentum. Clearly not much. They rested a slew of their best including Franklin, Rioli and Hodge. Conversely, we bring back the ultra injury prone Butler and possibly burn out Darling. Cox and Glass remain in the team. Needless to say I'm concerned.

We will need all our best players if we are to compete against bogan brigade next week. Speaking of which, Dale Thomas is out for that game. Now if only Swan, Pendlebury, Didak, Sidebottom and a few others suffer an unfortunate accident we may have a chance. Maybe a few of the Pies will miss with lead poisoning from their tattoos? I hope Swan doesn't lose an arm. It has been confirmed that the QF is on Saturday afternoon at the G. Undoubtedly our biggest game in 4 years.

But back to one of the least biggest games of the last 4 years. Adelaide have been okay since dumping Craig. They have a far better side than their record would suggest. Consequently, I wouldn't be surprised if we lost. As long as we play decently, don't lose anyone to injury, then it will be a positive outing.

Round 23 Recap: V is for Victory...and Ventriloquism

An indifferent start, Cox feeling the wrath of karma, a Masten inspired comeback and a midget retiring. No, it wasn't a twisted nightmare. It was the Eagles wrapping up fourth place and setting a date with the pies for week 1 of the finals.

Where to start with this one? The start? Okay, well the psychological problem I so presciently referred to in the preview seemed quite apt for the most part. The team seemed reticent and uninspired. Conversely, the Lions showed great determination to not be crap, a difficult task for a team that has only won 4 games this year. They wanted it more as we seemed content to put all the pressure on the Adelaide game. The rain didn't help. We looked as bedraggled as bedraggled can be. That's fairly bedraggled.

Luckily, they never really put too much scoreboard pressure on us. That is until the 3rd where it appeared we were on the precipice of defeat. But as soon as they went up by 20 odd points we kicked into gear. It's almost as if the realisation hit the team that it might be a good idea to win the game. And then we did.

They key? The master key, formerly the master tool, was a certain Sir Chris Masten. Much maligned by supporters for his inconsistency and poor disposal and by the blogosphere for his abysmal  facial hair, he was simply ubiquitous. Especially in the last quarter.

16 Kicks. 15 handballs. 4 marks. 7 tackles. 3 goals. 1 bad beard.

These are impressive stats. But far beyond these sometimes misleading figures, he was composed. He showed Shuey-esque poise under pressure and was efficient. He was instrumental in our impressive fightback. Surely his best game for the club.

He wasn't alone though. Priddis was, as ever, a polished performer. Naitanui and Shuey were superb in the last quarter, though the Lions must have the collective memory of deformed lions to allow the same play over and over.

Now onto Cox. Karma's a bitch aint it? A few weeks ago he blinded JJK with a tennis ball and last night he himself was blinded.  Whatever the severity of the injury I hope we don't play him next week. Fantasy football implications aside, there's no point. Rest Cox, Kerr, Embley and Glass.

Savour the moment friends, it's not every year a team climbs from last to 4th. It has been an incredible achievement from both the coach and players.

Victory!

Round 23 Preview; Eagles Look to Sew up 4th by Stitching up Lions

As I sit here knitting away at my metaphors I can't but wonder that this may be difficult. Psychologically, the team may just lack the motivation needed to get the win. Yes, a win seals 4th. But they will know they have Round 24 at home, against the Crows, as a backup. Conversely, Brisbane are fighting for pride. Pride is a powerful motivator, for most teams except Port and the anchorless freaks apparently. Embarrassing or what?

Anyway, pop psychology aside, from a purely matchup stand-point we should win. Kerr is out after Hocking went all UFC on his arse (or back I should say). The Sledge-Mummer McG returns. He's fresh off his week suspension for crimes against humanity being sledge-like in his speech. I'm just glad the matter didn't go the tribunal as there was a strong chance they would have ordered the removal of his...tongue. Kerr's a loss, but it's a smart move to rest him. I'm just surprised that Cox, Glass and a few others made the trip. If we win tonight I would suggest they won't be needed for next week.

The Lions are a sad story. When you look at their team they have a fairly decent core. They still have the likes of Black and Power supplemented by young talents in Rich and Leuenberger. Yet, they also have Brent Staker. Now, whilst I don't claim he's 100% responsible for their mediocrity he is emblematic of the bizarre direction that club has taken.

Still, they've had some okay games this year. Losing to Collingwood by only 3 goals is a superb performance (just ask our deranged purple cousins).

Matchup wise, we pretty much are stronger everywhere. Without the de-faced (literally) Brown, the Lions forward line is makeshift at best. They have players like Cornelius, Polkinghorne and Retzlaf who, whilst their names are bloody hilarious and a little carnival like, don't frighten me much. Their midfield is solid but not special. Their backs are actually decent; Adcock, McGuire, Drummond etc. But they're not big enough. Essentially we are better everywhere...except on the bench. Hams, McG, Ebert and Masten. That irks me a little. But still, our rucks should dominate with Clark out. It should be a good contest in the middle, yet we've faced better teams and succeeded.

Before writing this I had an impending annoying loss kind of feeling. Now, the more I think about it, the more it appears we really should win comfortably. Mindset is the key. Mindset...and not letting Ebert kick the ball.

But I'm confident we can get it done, claim 4th and make the Juddas cry. The perfect Saturday night.

MRP Stuns World: Uses common-sense; Waters Cleared

In a move that has shook the very foundations of the AFL world, the Match Review Panel today cleared Beau Waters of rough conduct.

The Panel applied what can only be termed 'logic', a system foreign to the MRP, in throwing out the charge. They deemed  that the "high contact was accidental and not unreasonable in the circumstances".

The unfortunate legalese of the double negative aside, it was quite evident from where I was sitting, getting my face roasted like a peanut, that Jobe W. Bush ran into Waters. Waters, having the strength of 3 aurox, merely stood his ground and let little Jobe break into a million pieces.

1/3 of Beau Waters' strength

A few fans around me suggested that Watson should be sanctioned for diving. The hilarity of that claim was enhanced by the sincerity of those making it.

So, the MRP got one right. It makes a welcome change for a system renowned for its inconsistencies and lack of clarity.

Still, kudos.

Round 22 Recap: Eagles overpower Bombers; surge into top 4

Aint it a pretty sight?

 

They really had me worried there too. Essendon, as expected, came out strongly and put substantial pressure on the Eagles. For our part, we seemed a little disinterested at first. Our disposal seemed a bit off and our finishing was very poor. Frustratingly, the Bombers kicked goals at both the stroke of quarter and half time. It was deflating and concerning.

But come the second half we started to dominate. Yes, the Watson hit was a turning point of sorts. Yes, the Bombers went to pieces after it. Yes, we were awesome. It all seemed to click and we romped, romped, romped to a huge victory and into the top 4. 

Lecras and Kennedy were both focal points up forward with 4 goals each. I thought Kerr was very good, especially his goal in the 3rd and Naitanui had a superb 15 second patch in the last. It was all in all a very pleasing win against a team as irritating as the Bombers. We once again showed our ability to rise to the top when challenged, the trait essential to our success this season. 

In bad news, it was a little worrying to see Kerr helped off the ground in the dying moments of the game. From what I can gather though, he should be okay. Darling was also a late withdrawal with hip soreness. Soreness or no soreness, he needed a break desperately. The Waters 'hit' on Watson will be scrutinised, but to be honest it looked fine to me. But I'm not an impartial observer like the tribunal (Insert sarcasm here).

I don't want to harp on the top 4 conquest much, except to say that 4th is essentially ours so in the Juddas's face, in Carlton's face and in the Dockers face (because you know...they are rubbish). All we have to do is beat either Brisbane or Adelaide and we're assured of the double chance. Worsfold says we're not safe yet, but he's just being diplomatic. 

It's a done deal.

Cool, cool, cool, cool.

Round 22 Preview: Eagles v Bombers - No Jacket Waving Required

There was a time when these two teams had something of a fierce rivalry. Sheedy's crazy antics back in 93 started it and his cutthroat gesture at Mitchell White continued it. And whilst there's nothing as satisfying as a good jacket wave, the tradition and rivalry is very passe. It was from a bygone era when it was Sheedy v Malthouse, East v West etc. etc.

Good times. But you know what else is good times? Making the top 4. That is why today is a must. Well, sort of. Hawthorn's victory last night means all we need to do is win 2 of our last 3 games to finish 4th. Amazing. From 16th to 4th. The first non-Victorian team since...us in 2007 (and Port) to make the top 4. Our reward? We would get to play the Pies at the G. But after that probable arse-whooping, the draw would really open up for us.

Anyway, that''s for future discussion.

Today is huge. We want revenge for the minor meltdown earlier in the year. We want...to win. And we should.

We get a big boost with Glass and Waters returning. McG (susp.) and Brown drop out. The Bombers' one substantial change is the loss of Hurley. I guess Perth cab drivers will be glad they don't have to take that guy anywhere.

I expect the Bombers to come out firing. They're trying to solidify a top 8 spot and they've shown some decent form of late.

Still, we are the superior team with a lot to play for. I shall be there for this one, the first time this season, so if they lose you'll know who to blame.

Let's go Eagles!!!

McGinnity Suspended

I assume you have all heard this already.

Following an investigation, the club took the steps of suspending McG for a game, fining him $2500 and compelling him to undergo counselling.

I find it hard to comment on this without knowing what he said. Obviously if it had anything to with religion, race, cultual affiliation then that's unacceptable. But if it's something along the lines of "I had sex with your mother", then meh.

However, I'm going to assume it's the former. If so, the club did the right thing in being proactive. I don't know why McG would bother with sledging. It's stupid, unhelpful and now he's hurt let the team down. Moreover he's made the club look bad, which isn't what we need after the last few years.

I mean if he had to taunt anyone, it should have been Lynden Dunn. Have you seen this guy's moustache? It makes Chris Masten look sophisticated. Well, like a premium porn star, whereas Dunn would be a volunteer on the set...cleaning up afterwards.

Round 21 Recap: Eagles victory soured by apparent injuries; that don't exist

As the rather poorly worded title suggests, injury fears from yesterday's beat down seem to be misplaced. Both Cox and Shuey were allegedly sore after the game, but appear to be okay for Saturday's pivotal clash against the Dons. It seems redundant to state that their presence is very much needed to push our way into the top 4.

But back to yesterday's game. The result never really appeared in doubt. We dominated most of the play from the 10 minute mark of the game and won comfortably. Contrary to what the geniuses at Foxtel kept pushing, we were never troubled. I found it quite incredulous that the commentators seemed to only concede the game was over with about 5 minutes left in the last. That was despite the fact that the Demons never got within 5 goals of us from the second quarter onwards. Still, stupid is as stupid does.

Speaking of stupid, Melbourne were stupidly bad. I would hate to be a Demons fan. Not that many bothered to turn up to the game; the Eagles fans were almost as vocal as the home team contingent.

In terms of our actual performance, we got the job done. It wasn't an overly impressive display. We won it early and maintained the lead until the final siren. It was a business trip, without the (usually) mandatory karaoke and suitcases full of shredded newspaper. It was yet another win that showed our burgeoning maturity as a team.

We're still 5th but with the game in hand over Juddas's minions. We are '4th-elect' if you will excuse my political analogy. This time next week I envisage us being sworn in, sitting in the oval office sipping brandy. If we can do that without fondling any interns, all the better. Still, it is dependent on two things. Firstly, Hawthorn beating Carlton; probable but not certain. Of course, we have to beat Essendon. A tough one, but eminently winnable. I shall examine that one later in the week.

Cheerio.

P.S By 'examine' I mean mocking the Bombers until I get bored.

Round 21 Preview: Dees v Eagles

Apologies for the dormancy of the blog, but my reasons are twofold. Primarily, early semester uni related study.  Also I really had nothing to say about the Richmond game, before or after. It was always going to be a cakewalk or at least a muffinwalk or a cookiewalk or a even a beerwalk. The Tigers are quite the disgrace, really embarrassing and we're like...awesome. The game reflected that.

One comment I would make is that I was unimpressed with the medal winners. I can partially accept Kerr, but Naitaniu was just okay. He had a good 10 minute patch, but nothing more, nothing less.  Shuey was great. But I don't really care.

On to the Melbourne game. I expect us to win this one too. We thrashed them earlier in the year and are a far superior team. Yet, beware the wounded...demon. I've been (re)watching quite a bit of Buffy lately and two things are clear. One, SMG is amazing...even as a cavewoman (see season 4 episode entitled 'Beer Bad')

 Secondly, and more pertinently, Demons can be troublesome, especially when motivated.

Are these Demons motivated? They should be. They've been killed the last couple of weeks. Their coach was recently sacked and they get a bunch of decent players back. Jamar and Sylvia are the headliners.

Furthermore, our team news is unsettling. Glass and Rosa are out. Glass with general soreness. I actually think this is real 'soreness' as opposed to Kerr soreness. He's resting and it's understandable. I'm sure I-can't-kick-to-save-my-own-life McKenzie can guard Melbourne's big forward who is of course...um...is Schwarz still playing?

The Rosa omission is more troubling. He was having an okay year (overrated in my opinion) but then the Richmond dufus decided to be all dufusy. It happens. I think he's a key player in the sense that he is solid. Unremarkable for sure, but far better than any possible replacement.

Masten is out. Insert obligatory insult here.

In good news, JJK is back. So is Hams. I know he had a great WAFL game, but he's not the answer as a small forward. I just don't think he's up to it. Against Melbourne however...he could kick 5 goals.

Still, I think the Dees may push us hard in this game. They will surely show something this week. Or we will destroy them. Or lose. What do I know? I'm just a humble blogger.

It's a bit of a shame it's not at the G. It would be nice to play there again before the qualifying finals...

In related top 4 news, Go Dockers! At least until the final siren tomorrow, then we can go back to holding them in utter contempt. The purple fools.

Round 19 Recap: Eagles avoid embarassment; beat Dogs

The only thing I could think of when watching our lead rapidly disappear was the Geelong game from 06. You know the one. We were down by 9 goals in the 3rd only to come steamrolling home (sans Juddas by the way) and make Ablett cry. Good times.

Anyway, all that matters was that we averted suffering the same fate as the Cats. Our first half and a bit were very impressive. Without 3 of our key players we were dominant all over the ground; unrelenting in applying our now trademark forward press and we capitalised (fairly) well.

Yet, to their credit, the Dogs decided to try in the second half and seemed almost irresistable in their march towards the lead.  In a way I was impressed by our response. Sure, I would've preferrred the situation not to arise. Our players seemed to only react when the Dogs hit the front. Still, we halted their momentum and kicked the last 2 goals of the game to re-snatch the win.

It goes without saying that Cox was incredible, especially without Naitanui. Gaff continues to impress me, whilst Lycett had a very solid debut. He actually looks like he has some agility, though it's hard to see where he fits in our forward line with a healthy Kennedy.

Overall, it was a critical win for our top 4 prospects. Win our remaining 5 games and we finish at least 4th. Then we get to play Collingwood at the MCG...a great reward.

Round 19 Preview: Dogs v Eagles

On paper this should be an easy win. But several factors are at play which mean this will be far from easy. Firstly, it's in Melbourne against a very talented and experienced team. The Bulldogs have been poor this season, but they have shown glimpses of what they once were, plus are still in finals contention. This is a must win game for them and not for us.

Moreover, the team news is worrisome. Very worrisome.

We lose Josh Kennedy to...well...to an eye injury...inflicted by an errant tennis ball at training. I don't know what to say to that, except shit. It's a huge loss, considering his role as our number 1 target and the fact he kicked 10 against the Dogs earlier in the year. It puts a lot of pressure on Lynch and Lecras to step up and kick goals.


More bad news in that Naitanui has been left out with 'soreness'. Now, I hope this is the 'literal' soreness and he only misses 1 week and not the Kerr 'soreness' and he's out for a month. It still puts us in a tight spot. Although Cox is great, in my opinion his best work is now done around the ground; mopping up down back, taking releieving marks etc. At times he has looked old and tired when rucking, at least in comparison to the energetic Naitanui. We also lose Naitanui's defensive pressure, perhaps his most critical ability.

The Dogs have SEVEN changes. Volatility in a team is a good thing...for the opposition.

But it's going to be tough. We're missing our best forward and midfielder. They'll be desperate. Yet, we have to win to maintain our push to the top 4.

We can do it, but it'll be a big challenge.

Round 18 Recap: Eagles win boring Derby punctuated by unnervingly tight finish

Wow.

That was one boring game. Except for the frantic, desperate finish.

I guess a tight game was to be expected between two top 8 teams, who both put on a high level of pressure. Unfortunately it made for a low-scoring, static and at times downright dull game. And although we secured a 22 point lead half way into the last, it was the type of game where each team dominated in periods, so it was no surprise when Fremantle surged late.

What was surprising was the appalling, ridiculous, incredible, generally insane decision to penalise us for deliberate out of bounds. I believe it was Rosa who essentially spoiled the ball in the direction of the line, but in close proximity to a couple of players. How can it be deliberate when he did not even have control of the ball?

Anyway, on reflection I'm happy it happened. It allowed us, and the many haters out there, to bask in the glory of Ballantyne's stupidity. His celebration was both bizzare and hilarious. His shot clearly didn't make the distance, and yet he had already completed his lap of honour before this reality hit him. The expression upon his annoying little face, as the infintessimal piece of cheese in his head which acts a sort of brain substititute (97% intelligence free) registered this, was priceless.
Truly a great moment in the history of mankind.

So we got the win. Just. But it was critical.  We did make some horrendous mistakes though. Three 50s resulting in 3 goals. Yes, the game was stymied by over-officiating, but the 50s were mainly avoidable.
Our kicking was also atrocious. JJK was a major culprit here.

Overall though, I'm fairly satisfied. It's clear we miss Kerr (and the attention he generates) but we fought hard and did enough to claim the 4 points.
Top 4 still looks a good possibility, but we face a tricky game against the Dogs on Saturday. It's our last game against the thug, so I hope we crush them...(again)

Round 18 Preview: Derby Redux

Today the Eagles have the opportunity to win both Derbies in a season, a feat not achieved since 2005. Honestly though, this statistical-emotional accomplishment pales in comparison to what is really at stake.

A win today is pivotal in our hopes of climbing into a top 4 position to secure the double chance. Carlton’s win last night makes it even more vital that we do the job today.

And do it we should. We are undoubtedly the superior team. Better game plan, more consistent, healthier and most importantly we have a less insane coach. 

The Dockers are still without Sandi, whilst Kerr is still sore. Very sore.

Freo had a good win last week whilst we blew it against the Saints. Given the form line of these two teams, that sets us up nicely.

I don’t have much more to add. I could go on and on about Freo, how pathetic their history has been, what a pain in the arse Ballantyne is, what a pain in the arse Pavlich is, what a pain in the arse Crowley is...etc. etc.

 But I’m above that. Well, not really. I'll save it for the recap.

Let’s just get it done.

Harvey: Mole leaked info. to Eagles; Moon Landing was staged; Hitler is living in my Basement

I've always wondered whether Mark Harvey was all there, so to speak. If he actually meant what he said, then he is at the very least a little bit conspiratorial.
But hey, if there was a mole inside Freo, who would it be? Well, the most mole-like of the players has got to be Ballantyne himself. Hes' about 3 feet tall, lives underground and is vision impaired (by the looks of his haircut anyway).

In seriousness though, if there is a 'mole' inside the Dockers, it does suggest that even Fremantle employees are really Eagles fans right?

Remembering Bazza: Hall hangs up gloves- A West Coast Perspective

Barry Hall is retiring at the end of the season. Apparently he wishes to be remembered as a Dog not a Swan. I will remember him as a thuggish brute. Bitter much? You bet your arse I am.

He's a guy who should have never been allowed to compete in the 2005 Grand Final. He punched Matt McGuire in the guts about 100m off the ball in the preliminary final. Incredibly, he wasn't suspended. It's not a stretch to think we would have won the 05 premiership if Hall didn't play in the ultimate game of the season. In my mind, it not only robbed us, but tainted the league and the tribunal process in terms of objectivity.
It's interesting to consider that if the incident wasn't during the finals if he would have been suspended. How about if he didn't play for Sydney, a franchise in desperate need of success?  If it were the Q who had  thumped a defender would he have been allowed to play?

I argue 'hell to the no'.

Yet, it was barely mentioned in the aftermath of the Swans victory and Hall's vital performance. It wasn't convenient for the narrative the Victorian AFL media wanted to write: An amazing win by the underdog against a much more talented side. The Swans had great spirit, brilliant coaching...blah blah blah....(Walls holding a book over his pants to conceal arousal.)

Then there was Hall's definining moment in 2008. His K.O punch of Staker. The incident speaks for itself. It was assault, plain and simple. It was brutish and disgraceful.

So whilst the media fawn over 'Big Bad Bustling', I say good riddance to one of the game's most violent, dangerous, sociopathic players.

Round 17 Recap: Eagles show up 30 minutes late to Etihad; Unsurprisingly lose

As I sat there watching the Saints go up 44 to 1, I thought "this is how I imagined this entire season". We were getting smashed from the centre, turning over the ball and looking generally like a massive homunculus comprised from the cross-pollination of Ebert, Mackenzie, Masten and strangely...Neville Longbottom (in the first few books/films). Gryffindor legends aside, it was bloody awful.

Then...we decided to try. Amazingly, we started winning the ball, kicking more efficiently and yes, even scoring.

But even when we hit the front in the 3rd, I didn't think we would finish strongly. I got the sense that we had consumed all our psychological and physical energy pulling ourselves out of a 7 goal to none mire. So it came as no surprise when the Saints finished better in the last.

I was disappointed, but also quite content. I was disappointed in a loss which means we stay in 5th. I was content in our response to the atrocious start. Credit must go to Worsfold, primarily. He gave an interview at quarter time and he was extremely calm and composed. It's good to see he can transpose that on his players under difficult circumstances.

I was also impressed with a few individual performances. Gaff may have looked underdone early, but from the 2nd term onward he got a heap of the ball and showed great poise. Naitanui also showed flashes of brilliance. But there were more flashes than there usually is. For only the second time in his career he had 5 marks in a game.

Other players weren't so good. The usual suspects in Mackenzie and Ebert proved they still can't kick a football. Lecras was also poor.

Overall, we got what we deserved. You can't go behind 44 to 1 and expect to win. I hope the players feel spurned by that defeat. We've got the derby this week. If we are to make the top 4 we must beat the Dockers.

I get the feeling their fans think they're a chance. Alas, delusional as usual.

Round 17 Preview: Saints v Eagles

I didn't bother to recap the Cats victory. The game blogged for itself. An amazing performance in an amazing season.

The top 4 now beckons. Based on my predictions, we will easily finish 4th. Yet, we must not get complacent. Tonight's game is going to be difficult. The Saints are semi-improved on their early season form. How much improved? I guess we find that out tonight.

Kerr is out with the dreaded 'soreness', whilst Swift and McGinnity have been omitted. Kerr's a significant loss, but we gain Waters, Lynch and Gaff. I hope Gaff isn't the sub, I want to see what the kid has got over the length of a match. After all, he was pick 4 in the draft. Waters is a backline general.... but we already have 2 in Hurn and Glass...so I guess he can be a colonel or major or something. The point is he is a hard nut. Not pea not almond but macadamia. You need a vice to crack this bastard. Or just touch his elbow with a feather and he's out for 12 weeks (I kid). Lynch is also from the family Proteaceae. He is integral to our forward structure, irregardless of his jerkishness in front of goal.

The Saints are a dreadfully boring team (except off field). They have all the charm of Koschitzke and the beauty of Steven Milne. Yet, they can still restrict teams fairly well.

I don't think well enough though. The loss of Kerr does place some added pressure on Shuey and Priddis, but if we play our game we should win. As long as we don't fall asleep....

Let's rock the dome.

Round 16 Preview: Eagles v Cats

If an eagle fought a cat in the 'real world' we know who would win...or do we? It would depend on various factors; the type of cat/eagle, their respective sizes, age, experience in battle etc. The same considerations apply in the 'football world'. One big factor is the players available to each team.

This is an indirect way of expressing my concern over a couple of key omissions. The much-maligned (by me) Sam Butler (herafter known as Jeeves) is out with injury (shock horror) whilst Mr Q himself has been suspended. Earlier this week I heard reports of the imminent return of Beau Waters, but these have been made false by today's team news. Alas, two experienced players out. In comes a big 'meh' and a slight 'damn' in Pat McGinnity. An okay player, but he doesn't replace either of Jeeves or Q. Koby Stevens also returns for his first game this year. I honestly don't remember the guy, at all. Well, I remember his name. Apparently he played 5 games last year. No surprise that I don't recall him, as I have stated before last year is a blur of horribleness.

The notable omission for the Cats is Mackie (blah). In comes Varcoe and Corey.

 Those 'outs' for us hurt, but we are still going to win. Call me crazy, but I don't rate the Cats, not to the extent that their record might suggest I should. I don't even care about their loss last week. They may try to bounce back, but we are fresh off the bye, full of confidence and on our home turf.

 Needless to say, I hate the Cats. They are smarmy bastards; the epitomy of blandness, the darlings of the AFL media. Seriously, when Walls talks about them someone is liable to get poked in the eye (if you get my drift). I look back to '07 and think we could have done them that year. Obviously injuries stymied any chance of that, but such is life.

Anyway, massive game in prime time. It's critical to our top 4 chances, with Hawthorn and Carlton nigh certainties to win this week.There's no reason to be apprehensive. It's a new era. We crushed the Dockers. We dismantled the Juddas. The Cats are next.

Round 14 Recap: Eagles Dominate Blues; Leave Blogger asking Chris who?

What a win! The first win against Judd. The first win in Melbourne this season. Most importantly, we beat a legitimate top 4 team for the first time this season.
What impressed me most  was  that we were strongly challenged and yet held our nerve. Rewind back to the Essendon game. Inaccuracy early stopped us from achieving a strong lead. Come the second half, the Bombers surged and we layed down. We were poor in front of goal again yesterday, but when the Blues stormed back in the 3rd (to get within 4 points) we slowed the game down, kept possession and responded with consecutive goals.
Another sign of maturity.

I could go on and on about the importance of beating Judd. Sure, it feels good. We got over a psychological barrier, but I think the club is now at a point where the we have moved on. Still, this was our greatest win in the post-Juddas era.

In terms of individual performances, there were superb efforts all over the ground. Down back, Glass and E-Mac were beacons of strength and solidity. I still have doubts over MacKenzie's kicking, but his overhead, contested marks were a feature of a dominant backline yesterday.

The midfield was amazing against an elite unit. Priddis had a million possessions. Scott Selwood did a great job containing the Juddas. Kerr also was good. It seemed he was going head-to-head with Judd for a fair chunk of yesterday. Shuey was also damaging. I like the fact that every time he gets the ball he always assesses what's on offer. He rarely makes mistakes and always seems to find targets. I thought Cox was good and Naitanui also had an excellent game. I was ecstatic over his 'Mark of the Year Elect', but just as happy that he converted the opportunity.

Our forward line was good but not great. Lecras was the only one that seemed confident in front of goal. Kennedy and Lynch both missed a few chances they should have taken avantage of. Still, they presented well.

So, 5th on the ladder. For the first time this season I think we can (and will) finish top 4. However unlikely, we could win all our remaining games. Even the Geelong game seems eminently winnable as I sit here typing, high on the fumes of victory. Complacency, injuries and fatigue all stand in the way of this outcome.

Yet, as the boring bye week approaches, we should all just appreciate how far we have come.
From wooden-spooners to top 4 candidate. Not too shabby.

Round 14 Preview: Blues v Eagles

I see this game as the biggest challenge of the season to date. The Collingwood game was more challenging, but I never saw us as a chance against the Pies. Against the Blues we have a shot.

Yesterday I took a cursory glance at the matchups and I have to say it looked promising. I know a 'team' is more than a sum of its players, but at a basic level we are fairly evenly matched. Both their forward and backlines are solid. I do have fears over their small forwards, not allayed by the inclusion of the most inflexible man in football 'E-Mac'. Carlton also lose Duigan to injury, one of their most consistent backmen. However, the midfield is where the interest lies, for more than one reason.

Firstly the Juddas factor. I call him Juddas from a combination of Judd and Judas for reasons clear enough. I don't hate the guy. I understand why he returned to Melbourne, climate not withstanding, and can respect his decisions. But I have little love left. We helped mold the guy into one of the best ever and now he's using his powers against us. I'm guessing either one or both of the Selwood's will take him tomorrow. That is, if he plays. If anyone knows the number for the Ministry of Magic I'd be grateful...

Carlton also has other very good on-ballers; Murphy, Simpson. Robinson and Gibbs. Kerr and Priddis need to have big games to keep those guys busy. Shuey and Rosa also need to rise. Swift needs to...not make too many mistakes.

I feel good about the fact the game is at the Dome as it is easier to apply an effective press. We did so, fairly well, against the Bombers earlier in the year.

I really feel this is a statement game. We haven't won in Melbourne this season. We haven't beaten a top 4 team this season. We haven't beaten the Dark Lord...ever.

Wands at the ready guys, it's time to take down the Balded One!