9. Worst style decision- the Beard or the Pony?
I’m feeling a little nostalgic about Dr Swift right about now...Anyway, in my mind; nothing surpasses the sheer absurdity of Schofield’s beard. Wellingham made a wrong choice to tie his hair like a horse. But with Schofield, it’s a long-term plan to grow, cultivate and promote the mass of hair spouting from his chin. I predict that by Round 3 a group of restless fans will band together and form a campaign to rid our side of the beard’s tormenting spirit. They’ll write a letter and it will go a little something like this...
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| There's a man underneath all that hair somewhere |
Dear Mr Schofield,
It has come to our attention, loyal Eagles fans and fashion aficionados, that you’re beard is in such a state of disrepair, owing to either your negligence or some misguided sense of style, that it is causing us great emotional anguish. There has even been rumours, unsubstantiated mind you, that members will boycott home games, in order to avoid any potential danger from the undoubtedly numerous crawling critters and rambunctious rodents inhabiting your face. We also have concerns over the effect the beard is having on your level of play. There have been multiple instances, with your head over the ball, of you being pulled down by the weight of the thing.
We have sent you a complimentary set of sheep sheers. Please do what is right and necessary.
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