Season 2013 has been over now for 5 months. Yet, the memories of humiliation remain fresh in the memory. That final dismal display against the Crows on a wet Saturday night in August feels like just yesterday. Remember Selwood and Embley did a lap of honour? Worsfold said a few words to the crowd, which turned out to be his final words?
Thankfully the new season is nearly upon us, which will, if not permanently delete last year from our minds, will at least submerge it behind new hopes and dreams.
But for one final time, here are my last 3 predictions before last year:
Initially I selected us to win our first 10, but I don't think that's
realistic. 9 of 10, on the other hand, is completely reasonable. I think we
have a fairly decent draw in the sense that besides our first 2 outings we play
plenty of (theoretically) non-finals teams. We do have a difficult run in to
end the season but at that point I'm hoping that most of the currently wounded
are back and playing well. Due to the imbalance in the fixture, I wouldn't want
us to lose any more than 3 games (at worst) in the first 10 to truly establish
ourselves in the top 4. 'Any given Sunday' and all that, but if we beat who
would should beat then we'll be in good shape with a record of 16-6.
Oh yes, just a mere 9 out of 10. Easy as that huh? The guy that wrote that was an idealistic fool. He is no more. I will abstain from making similarly outlandish predictions this year. But everything started well enough last year. I mean the first quarter against the Dockers anyway. I remember us kicking the first few goals and sitting on the couch with a smug look on my face. I thought we were about to embark upon a thrashing of the Dockers despite our missing stars. Of course, the 3rd quarter happened and we never really recovered. I also remember being excited heading to the Hawks clash. That was depressing. We ended up losing 9 games at home. I think our number 1 mission this season is rebuilding a strong home ground advantage. In addition to, well, not being completely rubbish.
2. And the Eagles will be...
On the basis of that rough prediction we should sneak into the top 4.
In terms of when our season ends it all depends on Home finals and the form
of other teams. But, injuries permitting of course, I see us going 1 better
than last year and making the Prelim. I don't rule out a Grand Final appearance
or Premiership chance, but we haven't played 1 game yet and I'm not that bold.
Obviously, not quite the top 4. Not quite prelim. material. Or finals. Or anything resembling respectability.There isn't much to say really.
1. If the Eagles lose both derbies than I will change this into a Dockers blog for 1 week.
I really hope not, because besides that being a doomsday scenario for
the team's prospects and the supporters' pride, it would be far too much
work for me.Of course, we will win this Saturday making this prediction meaningless.
Well when I made that prediction I was clearly under the mistaken apprehension that we were a quality side. I was also under the mistaken apprehension that the Dockers wouldn't be such a quality side. Mistakes were made. I didn't change this into a Dockers blog because nobody can make me do that; not you, not the courts, not even an arrogant pre-season prediction made by me.
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In other news, we destroyed the Dockers. It was fun.
One day we will all look back at 2013 and laugh. But if any of you are laughing now, then please do it silently. It still hurts.
But here is 3 more points for you to chew over. I'm hungry...
6. Biggest Improver?
Chris Masten is always a popular pick for this pre-season honour. But
he's no longer the pariah that he once was, though not a star and I'm
not sure whether he will get much better. In fact this is a rather
difficult selection to make, as there's no one player of superb talent
who hasn't already realised his potential (well, despite NicNat but I've
already dissed him so there's no going back). I'm going with Kennedy on
the basis that his 2012 season was fairly horrendous. Yes, it was
mainly injury-related but when he did play it wasn't pretty and he
seemed to operate as more of a decoy than a real threat. If he stays fit
there's no reason why he won't return to his rightful place as our
prime forward threat.
Right again! JJK returned with full honours to his position as our number 1 forward threat. As those in the East relentlessly focussed on his admittedly bizarre (and getting more bizarre?) goal kicking run-up, Kennedy continued to kick goal after goal. Unfortunately, his run-up really does mean he does not receive the plaudits he deserved. As those around him struggled, JJK maintained a rare sense of poise sorely missed throughout the rest of the team. The Coleman may have alluded him, but I'm sure he'll get that in 2014.
5. One Game you won't want to miss... Our fixture is full of big matches against good teams, rivalsand
cheats^* (hint: see the ____ fly up!). But for me it's Round 22, a
Friday night blockbuster against the Bogan Empire in Collingwood. This
match is part of an absolutely brutal final month of matches including
away to Essendon and home against the Cats and Crows. But this game is
full of meaning. There's something special about beating the bloody
annoying Pies, their bloody annoying fans and bloody annoying President.
Especially after last year's superb effort in the corresponding fixture
and the disappointing semi-final loss. There will be passion in this
one plus a vital 4 points which again may influence who finishes top 4.
...That Round 22 game was one of the worst I've ever witnessed. It led me to write the following:
To summarise, in a game in which Priddis celebrated his 150th, a man
who since 2007 has more tackles than anyone else, the Eagles showed a
distinct lack of pride, effort or skill.
Dark times lay ahead.
On a positive note, Glass did go nuts and try to murder an annoying Collingwood rookie. I believe it was one of our lowest scores ever.
So what was the most unmissable game? I think the two matches against Essendon had everything you want in a game of football. There was passion, excitement, fear, loathing, depression, elation. I attended the match-up in Perth and it had an atmosphere like nothing I had experienced before. Of course, it was the infamous boo-gate game, in which Jobe Watson endured the wrath of a fanbase rather peeved about his early week admission and consequent participation in the match. Of course, we blew that game. It made me sick. But it was an unforgettable.
Revenge, however, was sweet in the corresponding fixture at Etihad. After a seesaw game throughout the first half, the Eagles kicked away in the second, led by a courageous (and winged) Lecras. The players were happy, we were happy, the Dons were devastated. Besides the fact that Eddie was commentating, it was a perfect day.
4. Oh Gee, Wow-ee, Did you see that!?
Yes, Brian Taylor will be of extreme annoyance this season. There will
be talk of 'benders' and references to Mandurah, the Mining Tax and how
great a player he was. But this prediction relates to the fact that I've
run out of actual predictions and thought I'd make fun of this guy for a
bit. So yeah, he'll be a pain the ass, but at least he's not Wallsy.
The Saturday night commentary team in general is rather...erm how do I say this..."shit". Though generally it's "shit" in a manner which makes me laugh. Especially when the other two clowns start picking on the ultimate jester Richo. On the other hand, they kept lauding the Bombers and how well they were playing despite the ASADA investigation. Really guys?! If a man shoots himself in the foot and then goes about his business by hopping around do you say "What great spirit"? No, you laugh at him, because he was foolish and shot himself in the foot.
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Only 3 to recaps to go now!
Then I have to start writing predictions for this year. It never ends.
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In other news:
- Nic Nat and Wellingham may be set for Round 1.
- Waters not so much.
- (Bullet-proof) Glass has retained the captaincy for a 7th consecutive season. Was there ever any doubt?
- Other members of the 'Leadership Group'; Priddis, Cox, Selwood, Kennedy
- I saw David Wirrpanda at the Merrywell on Saturday night. He looks in good shape....what? This is news!
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As you can see, I have temporarily replaced the 'Dockers without a Premiership' counter for a 'Countdown until Round 1' counter.
I'm not exactly certain what I mean by that title. Maybe that I will always love the Eagles no matter how much pain they bring me. Sometimes I think how strange it is to 'love' a sporting team. What do we really love? It's not the players, they come and go. It's not the coaches, the board or the ground. Is it the jumper, or do we just love being part of something together with like-minded crazies, part of a movement with history, passion and belief...
Apologies, I think the heat is getting to me.
On to the review...
10. Leading Goalkicker
This is a difficult one. You would think that there are three bona-fide
potential leaders here in Kennedy, Lecras and Darling. Looking back upon the
last few years, due to injuries, form and other factors no one player has
locked down the ‘No.1 goal kicker’ position.
In fact, that’s probably become
one of the strengths of the team over the last couple of seasons. We
have a
strong array of options, making it difficult for opposing teams to focus
on just one key guy. That strength was, of course, tested last season
with the long-term
injuries to stars Lecras and Kennedy, but others, notably Hams and Hill,
stepped up and filled the void nicely. This year I also suspect we will
see a
nice spread of goals, with Lecras with 51 stealing the show. I’m a
little
worried about Kennedy’s propensity for injury, while I assume (my)
Darling’s
tally will come down a little with the return of the two guns.
This race was never close. Despite a midfield that from memory was being beaten on a regular basis, Swift-ing the ball into the forward line at every possible opportunity, JK flourished. For much of the season he looked like good money (gamble responsibly) for the Coleman. Unfortunately, he fell away, as the team well and truly imploded with 3 of our worst losses in our history to end the season. Roughead topped the list. I was at the Eagles-Hawks game, where one rather surly Eagles supporter audibly noted: "Roughead, the way you play football is as ugly as your face". Harsh but hilarious.
Darling was very good, though I seem to recall perhaps a slightly underwhelming return during some games. Lecras managed only 15 games. Remember when he was the most accurate kick for a goal in the competition? Those were the days. He kicked 30.27 in 2013, including returns of 0.3 against Port Adelaide (still haunts me), 1.4 against North and 1.3 against Adelaide. However, his last game of the season (that feel-good thrashing of the Don-Cheats)was brilliant, where he ended with 5.2...and I seem to recall he did it with a cracked rib or something.
On another note, Ashtom Hams retired.
9. Worst style decision- the Beard or the Pony?
I’m feeling a little nostalgic about Dr Swift right about now...Anyway, in
my mind; nothing surpasses the sheer absurdity of Schofield’s beard. Wellingham
made a wrong choice to tie his hair like a horse. But with Schofield, it’s a
long-term plan to grow, cultivate and promote the mass of hair spouting from
his chin. I predict that by Round 3 a group of restless fans will band together
and form a campaign to rid our side of the beard’s tormenting spirit. They’ll
write a letter and it will go a little something like this...
Dear Mr Schofield,
It has come to our attention, loyal Eagles fans and fashion aficionados,
that you’re beard is in such a state of disrepair, owing to either your
negligence or some misguided sense of style, that it is causing us great
emotional anguish. There has even been rumours, unsubstantiated mind you, that
members will boycott home games, in order to avoid any potential danger from
the undoubtedly numerous crawling critters and rambunctious rodents inhabiting
your face. We also have concerns over the effect the beard is having on your
level of play. There have been multiple instances, with your head over the
ball, of you being pulled down by the weight of the thing.
We have sent you a complimentary set of sheep sheers. Please do what is
right and necessary.
I'm not going to harp on this prediction, because quite frankly it is ridiculous. On the other hand, the trend towards the Ned Kelly look annoys me greatly. It's all fine and dandy to look like you are a hermit living in the alps, but when you're getting thrashed every other week it doesn't feel right. Masten, you sir, looked horrendous. Plus, does anyone else think that those big beards slow down players. It's simply not aerodynamic! I was also preturbed by Sharrod Wellingham wearing designer sunglasses when he was sitting in the coaches box convalescing from his (self-inflicted) ankle injury. But who cares really? It only irritated me because we were losing.
8. Biggest Disappointment...
NicNat had a good season in 2012. It wasn't an All-Australian calibre
season in any respect, except in the respect that he actually was
All-Australian. Dearth of ruck talent perhaps? Too much emphasis placed
on the amazing, tantalising and irresistible flashes by the big man?
Maybe. Regardless, we expect him to continue to improve as a player and
develop more consistency both within games and across the season. But,
I'm not sure that will happen this season. The fact is that NicNat has
already missed time with injury and unless you're Dean Cox, injuries
seem to have a lasting impact on big men.In fact he's already been ruled out of the Derby
in Round 1. Plus, I think people may have a view of him as an 'elite
ruckman' which doesn't reflect reality (just yet). I hope I'm wrong of
course.
I disagree with myself here. Yes, I am such a contrarian I often take umbridge with my own opinions. It's a difficult and time-consuming way to live I assure you.
I think I was being too harsh on NicNat's 2012 efforts. Upon reflection he was very good, his impact on games is often decisive even if it's not uniform across games. Unfortunately, I was proved right about his 2013 season. He never fully recovered from his injuries. He did, however, provide some highlights in a season bereft of them; the standing ovation he recieved upon his return against the Dogs, his game winning goal against the Roos and at least 1 incredible goal against Hawthorn.
Was he the biggest disappointment? Impossible to tell. There was so many; Wellingham, Lecras, the invisible Gaff...the list goes on. The team was a big disappointment, let's leave it at that.
7. Number of Times Worsfold will display human emotion....
I say this with all due respect, as I literally own his shirt,
but let's be honest he is an android right? Still when we win the
Premiership by 73 points I expect to see at least a form of smile
emerge
....um...erm...this is awkward. I don't know what to write here. One of the problems that I perceived throughout the season was Worsfold's lack of enthusiasm for the job. Of course, I'm not privy to inner-sanctum discussions, meetings etc. but at different times he appeared tired, disinterested and depressed. Although he has never been a big fan of press conferences, his meetings with the 'journos' this year took on a whole new level of antagonism.
It will be interesting to see what kind of coach Simpson is; placid like Worsfold (usually was) or more akin to the crazy, jerk-faced, irate, pain-in-the-ass, wall punching, child umpire abusing Clarkson.
Stay tuned for more reviewing in the coming week...and remember...
A Whopping 41% of blog readers, from an overwhelming large response of...erm...12, wanted Ben Cousins to be coach. I imagine they were joking. I know I was when I voted for him.
Nic Nat didn't get a look in, which will surely make his summer a time for reflection and soul searching.
On a serious note though, I did sense some sympathy/disappointment for Sumich, who continues to be overlooked as a coaching candidate. I wasn't one of them. As I referred to in this post, he was a bit of a jerk to me when I met him. Surely, that should have precluded him from the outset right?
I will shortly post a new poll, which will ask what is a satisfactory result in terms of ladder position for season 2014.
I probably should have written and posted these months ago, but the season left a bitter taste in my mouth; a bitter, poisonous taste.
Whether a review is necessary is questionable. I could simply write it was 'shit' and leave it at that. But that doesn't satisfy my desire for an unduly verbose examination of our 2013 season.
The most efficient method of writing the review is to follow up my 13 fairly inaccurate predictions from the beginning of last year. There will be 3 instalments.
But before that, if I had to summarise season 2013 in one paragraph it would be this:
The Eagles started as equal premiership favourites. We had bolstered our midfield options during the off-season, our young guns were entering their prime and our back and forward lines looked like the prime of the competition. Then the games began. We were struck by injuries and an indefensible lack of desire to win. The coach looked spent. We lost games by big margins. We couldn't win at home. We were embarrassed nearly every second week. The fans became restless. We couldn't make the top 9. Stars retired. The coach resigned. But it could have been worse: we could all be Essendon supporters.
*Exhales*.
Now here are my first 3 predictions from the beginning of last year and an explanation of what really happened.
13. The Best new recruit will be...
Not including draft picks, as I couldn’t pretend to know
anything about them, there are many established new additions to choose from.
Two Melbourne drop-outs in Bennell and Cale Morton, Saints youngster Jamie
Cripps and the more high profile Sharrod Wellingham. They’re all potentially
handy acquisitions, but you can’t go past Wellingham. He was recruited to add
some steel (nearly typed steele there, damn you Sidebottom!) (premiership) experience
and depth to a rather limited midfield. Trampolines and pony tails aside, once
all settles down, there’s no reason to suggest he won’t do just that. Of
course, as an established AFL midfielder the pressure is on him to perform
at a high level once he returns. There’s no such pressure on Morton (early
season nickname suggestion: Mor(e)ton Bay Fig?), Bennell and Cripps who are all
low-risk, high reward recruits.
Ha.
It's a nigh impossible task to identify a 'best new recruit'. Cale Morton played a couple of games and was delisted at the end of the season. I continue to read positive things about Jamie Bennell but he did not play a game in 2013. He has, however, been elevated off the rookie list for next season. An enticing prospect perhaps?
The great hope Wellingham, a potential X-Factor, failed to realise his promise mainly due to injury. The fact that his initial ankle complaint was as a result of trampolining accident didn't exactly ingratiate himself to the fans. Or to me at least. However, he did have two exemplary games against the Dogs and Dons late in the season. He just needs to find his fitness, maintain his form and reject stupid haircuts and he'll be alright.
But I think Jamie Cripps was the most consistent of the recruits. I don't think he had a stellar season, far from it. But he did a job on a weekly basis and that's more than can be said for many an Eagle.
12. We’ll miss you...
I prefer to look forward than back (that’s a lie) and I don’t
bear any ill feelings towards departed Eagles (massive lie), but we did lose a
few players in the off-season; Lynch, Stevens, Stevenson and Swift, M.D.Honestly, out of all of these I’ll personally
miss Tom Swift the most. With his erratic kicking, weird deer like running
style and bizarre hairstyles, he reminded me of a lot of myself. Plus, he was such a polarising figure amongst
fans that it was always fun blogging about him. More to the point though, in
terms of actual ‘football’ I think we’ll miss no-one. Stevens and Stevenson are
guys who never fulfilled their alleged potential. Lynch meanwhile was a player
who clearly had reached a point where he was a cusp member of the team and he
was unwilling to fight for his position. I’m grateful that he helped us win the
06 flag, but he’s past his best and now we’re past him.
It often felt that Tom Swift, M.D or his spirit at least never left the Eagles. Erratic kicking, weird deer like running style and (to a lesser extent) bizarre hairstyles were plentiful throughout the season. But really, I didn't miss him because there was so much more to complain about. With the losses and all. As predicted none of the other guys were missed. Some might argue Koby Stevens could have played a role, but he's not exactly a game changer. Lynch did something weird to his hand at Collingwood. I really don't want to know what Eddie and Q were up to when that happened....
In conclusion, no one was missed, but the goals were missed...on a painfully frequent basis.
11. Best Old Man...
Old in the football sense, that is. Glass, Kerr, Cox, Embley
and Adam Selwood are all battle-hardened veterans, but whereas the
latter two
seemed to struggle a little last season (injury and form), the first 3
flourished. The Kerr-surgence was particularly heart-warming after a few
very
dismal years of snaps, both of muscles and brain. But I think Glass will
be the
best old man as he’s still the glue holding our defence together, our
leader
and captain. The early Cox injury is a little disconcerting, but he has
shown an amazing ability to play through injuries. I love that guy.
Infact, I love all these guys, Selwood not withstanding (sorry Selly).
At least I'm over the Embley toe poke, nearly definitely.
I think Glass was definitely the best old man of 2013. He is leadership personified. Unlike the 'lippy' Maxwell, who runs around with a really annoying scowl on his face, Glass actually can play football really proficiently as well. Cox had to shoulder much of the ruck burden himself, due to NicNat's injury issues and perhaps he showed signs of ageing, but he is still a stalwart.
Unfortunately Father Time has caught up to Kerr, Embley and Selwood. The latter two were given a farewell game against Adelaide. I would like to say it was a fitting tribute to the pair's contribution to the team, but it was a complete schmozzle. Kerr's last game turned out to be against Essendon in boo-gate. I was at both the Adelaide and Essendon games. It was a pleasure and a privilege to see these three champs in their final games for the club. Kerr especially is one of our all-time greats.
Stay tuned for part 2 and 3 of this depressing look at the lows and lows of 2013.
