Season 2013 Review Part 1: Hey, at least we're not Bombers fans.

 Happy New Year! Too late?

 No, I think I'm fine.

 I probably should have written and posted these months ago, but the season left a bitter taste in my mouth; a bitter, poisonous taste. 

Whether a review is necessary is questionable. I could simply write it was 'shit' and leave it at that. But that doesn't satisfy my desire for an unduly verbose examination of our 2013 season.

The most efficient method of writing the review is to follow up my 13 fairly inaccurate predictions from the beginning of last year. There will be 3 instalments.

But before that, if I had to summarise season 2013 in one paragraph it would be this:

The Eagles started as equal premiership favourites. We had bolstered our midfield options during the off-season, our young guns were entering their prime and our back and forward lines looked like the prime of the competition. Then the games began. We were struck by injuries and an indefensible lack of desire to win. The coach looked spent. We lost games by big margins. We couldn't win at home. We were embarrassed nearly every second week. The fans became restless. We couldn't make the top 9. Stars retired. The coach resigned. But it could have been worse: we could all be Essendon supporters.

*Exhales*.

Now here are my first 3 predictions from the beginning of last year and an explanation of what really happened.

13. The Best new recruit will be...

Not including draft picks, as I couldn’t pretend to know anything about them, there are many established new additions to choose from. Two Melbourne drop-outs in Bennell and Cale Morton, Saints youngster Jamie Cripps and the more high profile Sharrod Wellingham. They’re all potentially handy acquisitions, but you can’t go past Wellingham. He was recruited to add some steel (nearly typed steele there, damn you Sidebottom!) (premiership) experience and depth to a rather limited midfield. Trampolines and pony tails aside, once all settles down, there’s no reason to suggest he won’t do just that. Of course, as an established AFL midfielder the pressure is on him to perform at a high level once he returns. There’s no such pressure on Morton (early season nickname suggestion: Mor(e)ton Bay Fig?), Bennell and Cripps who are all low-risk, high reward recruits. 

Ha. 

It's a nigh impossible task to identify a 'best new recruit'. Cale Morton played a couple of games and was delisted at the end of the season. I continue to read positive things about Jamie Bennell but he did not play a game in 2013. He has, however, been elevated off the rookie list for next season. An enticing prospect perhaps?

The great hope Wellingham, a potential X-Factor, failed to realise his promise mainly due to injury. The fact that his initial ankle complaint was as a result of trampolining accident didn't exactly ingratiate himself to the fans. Or to me at least. However, he did have two exemplary games against the Dogs and Dons late in the season. He just needs to find his fitness, maintain his form and reject stupid haircuts and he'll be alright.

But I think Jamie Cripps was the most consistent of the recruits. I don't think he had a stellar season, far from it. But he did a job on a weekly basis and that's more than can be said for many an Eagle.

12. We’ll miss you...

I prefer to look forward than back (that’s a lie) and I don’t bear any ill feelings towards departed Eagles (massive lie), but we did lose a few players in the off-season; Lynch, Stevens, Stevenson and Swift, M.D.  Honestly, out of all of these I’ll personally miss Tom Swift the most. With his erratic kicking, weird deer like running style and bizarre hairstyles, he reminded me of a lot of myself.  Plus, he was such a polarising figure amongst fans that it was always fun blogging about him. More to the point though, in terms of actual ‘football’ I think we’ll miss no-one. Stevens and Stevenson are guys who never fulfilled their alleged potential. Lynch meanwhile was a player who clearly had reached a point where he was a cusp member of the team and he was unwilling to fight for his position. I’m grateful that he helped us win the 06 flag, but he’s past his best and now we’re past him.

It often felt that Tom Swift, M.D or his spirit at least never left the Eagles. Erratic kicking, weird deer like running style and (to a lesser extent) bizarre hairstyles were plentiful throughout the season. But really, I didn't miss him because there was so much more to complain about. With the losses and all. As predicted none of the other guys were missed. Some might argue Koby Stevens could have played a role, but he's not exactly a game changer. Lynch did something weird to his hand at Collingwood. I really don't want to know what Eddie and Q were up to when that happened....

In conclusion, no one was missed, but the goals were missed...on a painfully frequent basis.

11. Best Old Man...

Old in the football sense, that is. Glass, Kerr, Cox, Embley and Adam Selwood are all battle-hardened veterans, but whereas the latter two seemed to struggle a little last season (injury and form), the first 3 flourished. The Kerr-surgence was particularly heart-warming after a few very dismal years of snaps, both of muscles and brain. But I think Glass will be the best old man as he’s still the glue holding our defence together, our leader and captain. The early Cox injury is a little disconcerting, but he has shown an amazing ability to play through injuries. I love that guy. Infact, I love all these guys, Selwood not withstanding (sorry Selly). At least I'm over the Embley toe poke, nearly definitely.

I think Glass was definitely the best old man of 2013. He is leadership personified. Unlike the 'lippy' Maxwell, who runs around with a really annoying scowl on his face, Glass actually can play football really proficiently as well. Cox had to shoulder much of the ruck burden himself, due to NicNat's injury issues and perhaps he showed signs of ageing, but he is still a stalwart.

Unfortunately Father Time has caught up to Kerr, Embley and Selwood. The latter two were given a farewell game against Adelaide. I would like to say it was a fitting tribute to the pair's contribution to the team, but it was a complete schmozzle. Kerr's last game turned out to be against Essendon in boo-gate. I was at both the Adelaide and Essendon games. It was a pleasure and a privilege to see these three champs in their final games for the club. Kerr especially is one of our all-time greats.

Stay tuned for part 2 and 3 of this depressing look at the lows and lows of 2013.