Round 20 Preview: Eagles Face Presumptive Wooden Spooners

But unfortunately, James Hird might not be able to make it. I've heard he has an appointment with a New York Doctor he just has to make. See, the Bombers have been struggling over the past fortnight and instead of trying to work harder, or coach harder or something silly like that, Hird desperately needs a dose of magical cream to apply to Jobe's...back.

To be fair to Hird though, the reason the Bombers lost to the Hawks and Pies in such an abysmal fashion is because those clubs are 'up to something'. They're just so 'biologically advanced' that no amount of training or tactics or effort will ever be enough to beat them.

We used to also be better than the Bombers, and thus in the twisted world of 'Saint James', we were undoubtedly up to something in the supplements department. I like to think to myself that although 2011 didn't result in a Premiership, our performances did in some way lead to the death of one of the most self-righteous clubs and people in the league.

But alas, no one would think we were cheating this season.

Still, this game is very winnable. Of course, I make such a statement on the proviso that the Bombers play like they have the past fortnight. They've looked rudderless the past 2 weeks. Completely shattered.

To be fair to the players though, it's hard to perform well when you've been constantly tweeting #standbyhird through out the week. Carpal tunnel much? You know, I found it hilarious that the Bombers players, like electric sheep, mechanically sprung to Hird's defence. Don't they realise that part of the reason they're in this mess is because pretty much all of them refused to use their independence and ask questions. Like, for example, "Why do I, one of the fittest people in the country at age 27, need to take an anti-obesity drug?" I keep hearing how 'smart' Jobe is, but if he's so smart then why did he agree to take that rubbish?

But I digress. As I said to an Essendon supporting friend/enemy (frenemy?)

We shall see ____ If you guys play like you have most of the season: easy 4-5 goal win. But, I'm not sure whether it's just the perennial Essendon drop off, the emotional burden of the ASADA guillotine hovering over head or withdrawals (from the DRUGS) but they sort of looked spent last week. Big ins for Eagles too; Priddis, Masten, Lecras.

I particularly enjoyed my reference to withdrawals.

We haven't shown any ability to beat top 8 teams this season. They are a top 8 team...for now. If they do rediscover their form of earlier this season then we probably won't stand much of a chance.

ESSENDON
B: M.Baguley J.Carlisle M.Hibberd
HB: T.Pears C.Hooker D.Fletcher
C: J.Winderlich J.Watson D.Heppell
HF: A.Davey S.Gumbleton N.Kommer
F: B.Stanton P.Ryder J.Melksham
R: T.Bellchambers H.Hocking K.Hardingham
I/C: D.Hille D.Myers B.Howlett D.Zaharakis L.Jetta T.Colyer B.Goddard
In:  A.Davey , J.Winderlich , B.Howlett , T.Pears
Out: C.Dempsey (Hamstring) , C.Dell’Olio (Omitted), Travis Colyer  (Omitted), Leroy Jetta  (Omitted)

WEST COAST
B: M.Brown D.Glass B.Wilson
HB: S.Butler E.Mackenzie As.Smith
C: A.Gaff S.Wellingham B.Dalziell
HF: J.Cripps JJ.Kennedy J.Hill
F: W.Schofield S.Lycett J.Darling
R: D.Cox S.Selwood B.Sheppard
I/C:  C.Masten M.LeCras P.McGinnity M.Priddis
In: M.LeCras , M.Priddis , C.Masten , P.McGinnity
Out: A.Carter (Rested), Embley (omitted), Hutchings (omitted), Hams (omitted)

Our ins, however, are hugely significant. We're still missing Hurn, Waters, Kerr, Nic Nat and Shuey...but relative to the rest of this season this is a fairly strong outfit. As long as our effort is there, which it definitely was last week (application meh-ish), it should be a close game.

Those midfield additions in particular are massive. They have a very strong midfield but we should hold our own with the likes of Priddis, Wellingham and Masten. They're backline was well and truly demolished by big guns over the last 2 weeks and you would imagine if, and only if, we can win enough of the ball we could put up a big score. Hopefully JJK can continue his push for the Coleman.

I imagine there will be a lot of emotion in this one. There was at Subi earlier this season, where despite us having a WAFL midfield, late withdrawals, a short week and the Bombers off the bye, Essendon only just lucked their way to 7 point win.

I'm sure Bombers fans will be moronically cheering Watson on Sunday, showering him with vials of AOD as he enters the ground. I hope they enjoy this game too. 'Cause we may only have 4 games left, but so, fingers crossed, do they.

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Darren 'Bulletproof' Glass re-signed for another year this week. No words are necessary to describe his contribution to this club, both as an on-field legend and in rehabilitating our off-filed image post-Cousins. You'd imagine he has re-signed in the hopes of one more push for a premiership and although I have grave doubts of that possibility, it is certainly increased by his ongoing presence and leadership. Congrats Glassy.